As a mom of a few kids it is really a great balancing act to make sure each of them feel loved and special. In my effort to make sure I treat them all equally, I don’t treat them all the same. They are individuals and need their own time to nurture their individuality and to feel important.
Each week I spend special time alone with each child. This can be the simplest outing, such as going to buy groceries with one of them, going for a walk or kicking around a soccer ball. The point is that it’s alone time, special time, time where my child can get my undivided attention and feel valued.
We talk about things that matter to that child, discuss their relationships with other family members, any areas of concerns; but most of all have fun just the two of us. It is so wonderful to spend this time with each of my kids, getting to know them at their stage of development.
For my baby girl, it has been a joy to participate in her milestones, growing our bond and loving each other up. My middle child has thoroughly enjoyed our special time, helping him to feel secure and counted and not just a forgotten middle child. For my eldest it has been quite a different experience. My little ones just want to be with me; if it means baking, going to the bank or even going to the hair dresser with me, they’re happy. For my eldest, asking him to join me at the shops or to help me bake is quite out of the question. He would much rather play soccer or ride his bike.
Initially I accepted this as part of him growing up, but then I realized that growing up will not mean growing apart for us. I will do all I can to strengthen our bond and let him know that no matter what I am interested in him and care about him and our relationship. This has translated into me playing a lot more soccer than I would care to do, running along next to him while he rides his bike or, my worst, building Lego.
I am so blessed to have the luxury of time with my kids and I am mindful of making sure it is quality time spent with them and not just quantity.